Sponge Bath
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four hour, surgical procedure. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
“Nurse,” he mumbles, from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir, I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”
He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, are my testicles black?”
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles inthe other, lifting and moving them around.Then, she takes a close look and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir.”
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely…..
“A r e – m y – t e s t – r e s u l t s – b a c k?”
Thanks to Marne for sharing this one
<p>Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest <br>>said, "Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long <br>>as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so".<br>><br>>Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the <br>>Priest said to her, "Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 <br>>years. You may speak two words."<br>><br>>Sister Mary Katherine said, "Hard bed."<br>><br>>"I’m sorry to hear that," the Priest said, "We will get you a better bed."<br>><br>>After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Priest. <br>>"You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine.<br>><br>>"Cold food," said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her <br>>that the food would be better in the future.<br>><br>>On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called <br>>Sister Mary Katherine into his office. "You may say two words today."<br>><br>>I quit," said Sister Mary Katherine.<br>><br>>"It’s probably best", said the Priest, "You’ve done nothing but bitch <br>>since you got here."</p>