Converting to Pastafarianism

Guide to Life

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I have done a good deal of soul-searching lately, reflecting on questions of life, morality, and religion. Via their blogs, a few different friends have introduced me to a Church to which I feel like I might belong, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

A young religion, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism contends that the universe was created by an invisible, undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster, beginning with a mountain, some trees, and a midgit. All evidence of evolution was planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Also, there is a direct correlation in the increase of global warming, earthquakes and hurricanes, and the decrease of pirates.

Flying Spaghetti Monsterism has gained attention this year, when our prophet, a twenty-something from Oregon, wrote to the Kansas School Board demanding that if they were going to require that “Intelligent Design” be taught in the classroom, that his theory that the universe was intelligently designed by a flying spaghetti monster, deserves its share of that classroom time.

In researching the religion on its web site, the case for conversion was summed up quickly and convincingly as follows:

WHY YOU SHOULD CONVERT TO FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTERISM

  • Flimsy moral standards.
  • Every friday is a relgious holiday. If your work/school objects to that, demand your religious beliefs are respected and threaten to call the ACLU.
  • Our heaven is WAY better. We’ve got a Stripper Factory AND a Beer Volcano.

I’m sold, why not? A religion, or a prophet, may be thousands of years old with a worldwide following, or a few months old with a tiny one. Time may bring growth and acceptance to Pastafarianism.

May we all be touched by his noodly appendage… Ramen.

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Magnetic Poetry

Diversions

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Among my birthday gifts received last summer, was a set of word magnets. Magnetic Poetry has become a widely familiar diversion for refrigerator doors, and office fun. I have the ‘Party Edition’, so the collection includes many words related to partying, drinking, and all forms of carousal. And so a new blog category is born. Having invited my co-workers to indulge their creative side with my word magnets, I will from time to time share their efforts here. I will keep authorship anonymous, so as to no inhibit any creative flourishes. Enjoy.

play hard
flirt always
date wild
entertain but naked

you would pinch our monkey after her toxic stain

I scream to wiggle above this pretty suit

almost too easy
watching furniture
between barfs
drunk under influence

loud mambo music will never make you sleep

beer bottle beverage room

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Speaking Freely

Books

I’ve been paying closer attention to The Constitution lately. It’s an amazing document that sits at the core of our Democracy and the rights that distinguish us as Americans. Yet at the same time it is a political football, under constant threat of revision to score political points (Help, my marriage is being threatened by gays, please alter the Constitution to defend it!), and subject to interpretation by a changing and fallible judiciary. But through it all, the essentials endure. Or so I thought until last year, when I discovered that my home-buying decision had required me to sign away a Constitutionally protected right.

Floyd Abrams‘ career has taken place in the legal trenches where the grand ideas of Constitutional protections come face to face with the more complicated circumstances of real life. In his book, Speaking Freely, Abrams describes in fascinating detail a variety of 1st Amendment related cases he has argued in court; from The Pentagon Papers case early in his career, a number of media-related libel cases, then-Mayor Guiliani’s attempt to shut down a Brooklyn Museum of Art over an exhibit, to the fight against Campaign Finance Reform.

Somewhere inside me there’s a frustrated lawyer wanting to get out. I am fascinated by the law, its use, abuse, and those who practice it. Even I was a little surprised how much I enjoyed reading these tales of sometimes arcane details of various lawsuits related to free speech. Let’s face it, this doesn’t have the sensationalism of an O.J. Simpson trial. But the the consequences to all Americans on how these fights are settled can be profound. I expect most Americans would say that the Freedom of Speech is a good thing, and rightly so. But things can get sticky when some test that right by actually using it.

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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Books

I’ve decided it’s not enough to maintain a ‘What I’m Reading’ block as I do on my blog, and not make some better effort to offer some thoughts about the books after I have read them. And so, I’m going to try and do that now.

And the first of the newly regular book reviews will be Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. I didn’t start reading Harry Potter books until well after the third one. Only after they had become the phenomenon that they are did I decide I needed to get caught up and find out what the fuss was all about. Having finished the latest, I’m all caught up again. My problem is my lack of any memory. Unlike my daughter, the Potter Encyclopedia, I can’t recount the details of the previous books as if I just read them, and so I struggle like a muggle to recollect what for Harry happened just the previous year, but that I read five years ago.

But even with that handicap, Harry remains an easy and fun read. Harry’s growing up, and has become a BWOC (Big Wizard on Campus – duh), and so is struggling with increased work and responsibility at school; tougher classes and being captain of his Quiddich team, the burden of having been labeled ‘The Chosen One’ who prophecy and previous experience says is destined for some epic battles to come, the attention and training that Hogwarts Headmaster Dumbledore gives him, and the fact that he’s matured enough to start noticing girls, not just any girl… Harry fancies his best friend’s sister. (I will resist the obvious temptation to insert any joke related to a wand in Harry’s pants here… better I don’t read such thoughts into children’s books).

All in all, I was a bit let-down by this book. To me it felt like it was all build-up, with little payoff. Obviously, with two books promised still in the series, it’s really just a chapter along the way in a bigger story. But the big news of this one… a major character dying, didn’t provide a satisfying ending. For any reader who’s gotten this far in the Potter books, you really can’t NOT read it, right? Just be prepared for this book to be a set-up with a big fat “To Be Continued…” at the end of it and hope for better in volume six.

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Does America Care…

News, Rants

…that the President’s most senior advisors are responsible for blowing the cover of a CIA agent?

“As the CIA leak investigation heads toward its expected conclusion this month, it has become increasingly clear that two of the most powerful men in the Bush administration were more involved in the unmasking of operative Valerie Plame than the White House originally indicated.”

“In October 2003, White House spokesman Scott McClellan told reporters that he personally asked Libby and Rove whether they were involved, “so I could come back to you and say they were not involved.” Asked if that was a categorical denial of their involvement, he said, “That is correct.”

Role of Rove, Libby in CIA Leak Is Clearer
The Washington Post, 10/2/05

Any American who isn’t shocked by this has to look themselves in the mirror and admit they’ve drunk so deeply of the Bush kool-aid that they’re ready to scrap this democracy thing and appoint him our leader-for-life. Politics can be a dirty business, but these were the most senior White House aids blowing the cover of a CIA operative, and fellow American, for some petty political payback. What is the positive spin here? At best it’s un-American, at worst it’s criminal.

They’ll say they didn’t know. They’ll say they never said her name. They’ll squirm like the skillful snakes that they are. What will George do, fire them, or give them a medal?

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Fifteen Years Ago

Family, Guide to Life
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On September 29, 1990, my wife and I became parents for the first time. Katie arrived three weeks early, and as a result spent ten days in the Intensive Care Nursury at Alexandria Hospital. Oddly, they weren’t days of worry, the hospital staff was wonderful and amazing in keeping us informed on Katie’s status and progress. It was a few days before she was disconnected from a ventilator and other stuff, and we finally got to hold her.

Today, Katie is fifteen years old. The thought of it blows my mind. She’s a beautiful young woman, a freshman in High School, an excellent writer and singer, and a smart/fun/loving person.

Happy Birthday Katie! We love you very much.

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Failure

Humor, Politics

Google knows all…

  1. go to Google
  2. type in failure
  3. press the ‘I’m feeling lucky button’
  4. laugh… or cry
  5. fwd to others

Do this, and you won’t be feeling lucky for long.

Thanks to sis for sharing

UPDATE: Ethan points out in his comments that there’s no need to ‘feel lucky’, a regular Google search will still put George at the top. And Google explains how pranksters can cause such results using a practice known as ‘Googlebombing‘.

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Holy Ignorance

News

This morning’s Washington Post has an article titled “In Evolution Debate, Creationists Are Breaking New Ground” about a new $25 million ‘Creation Museum‘ that is being built near Cincinnati to promote the view of biblical creation of the Earth vs. Evolution.

Some tidbits…

“It holds that the world and the universe are but 6,000 years old and that baby dinosaurs rode in Noah’s ark.”

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“But by any measure, Young Earth Creationism – which holds that the Bible is the literal word of God and that He created the universe in seven days – has a more powerful hold on the beliefs of Americans than evolutionary theory or intelligent design. That grip grows stronger by the year.

Polls taken last year showed that 45 percent of Americans believe that God created humans in their present form 10,000 years ago (or less) and that man shares no common ancestor with the ape. Only 26 percent believe in the central tenet of evolution, that all life descended from a single ancestor.

Another poll showed that 65 percent of Americans want creationism taught alongside evolution.”

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“But often, scientists say, the creationist bottom line is a through-the-looking-glass version of science. The scientific method of theory, experiment and assumptions upended does not apply. Ask Ham if he could accept evidence that conflicts with his reading of Genesis – proof, say, that a fossil is more than 6,000 years old – and he shakes his head.”

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“Ham is ambivalent on the question of intelligent design. He admires the movement’s founders and applauds their battles. But he is skeptical of creationists who see intelligent design as a battering ram that might smash down the constitutional doors and allow the Bible back into schools.

They are not a Christian movement, they are not about the Bible,” he says in his spacious corner office at the museum. “It’s not even against evolution, not really, because they don’t tell you what that intelligence is. It could open a door for Muslim belief, for Hindus, for New Age.

We are telling you unashamedly that the word of the Bible is the way.”

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I support everybody’s right to believe whatever they want, but it’s often painful to endure their efforts to spread their ignorance and religious intolerance.

for further reading:

Ministry uses dinosaurs to dispute evolution
Cincinnati Enquirer, 5/22/05

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