Introduction to Ingersoll

Books, Guide to Life

I had a good summer for reading. My ‘to read’ book pile, as usual, is deep. But my pendulum swing between periods of prolific reading and droughts of mindless TV has swung back to reading these last few months. Despite having several other books going at once, I recently picked up a thin volume while browsing Politics & Prose recently, I picked up a book titled, “What’s God Got to Do With It? Robert Ingersoll on Free Thought, Honest Talk & The Separation of Church & State”

Prior to the introduction, was this quote:

While I am opposed to all orthodox creeds, I have a creed myself; and my creed is this. Happiness is the only good. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others so. This creed is somewhat short, but is is long enough for this life, strong enough for this world. If there is another world, when we get there we can make another creed. But this creed certainly will do for this life.

Robert Green Ingersoll, 1882

I knew right away that I liked Robert Ingersoll and bought the book.

Robert Ingersoll was a famous politician and orator in the late 1800s. He was a strong advocate for freethought and humanism. The book contains excerpts from Ingersoll’s speeches and writings on topics including; God in the Constitution, Why I Am an Agnostic, Superstition, On Separation of Church and State, and How to Be Saved.

In the introduction, Tim Page, the editor of this thin volume wrote;

The present volume is intended to whet curiosity about the life and work of a most unusual American for a generation and a country that still has need of him. It is, unapologetically, a reading edition for a present-day audience; I have cut his speeches silently and generously, placing an emphasis on subjects that seem to have a continuing relevance.

He succeeded with me. It was wonderful and amazing to discover such writing that more than anything I can recall reading before more closely matched my own way of thinking on so many topics. I’ll be reading much more Ingersoll, and I recommend this volume to anyone who values my opinion.

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Sponge Bath

Humor

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four hour, surgical procedure. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

“Nurse,” he mumbles, from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir, I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”

He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, are my testicles black?”

Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles inthe other, lifting and moving them around.Then, she takes a close look and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir.”

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, “Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely…..

“A r e – m y – t e s t – r e s u l t s – b a c k?”

Thanks to Marne for sharing this one

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Asking Bush to Move On

Humor, Politics, Rants

The below monologue was in my email this morning. It’s comedian Bill Maher’s closing monologue to the September 9th episode of his HBO program, Real Time with Bill Maher. I’m a longtime fan of Bill’s. Much like another favorite of mine, John Stewart, his label of “comedian” does not do justice to the sharp and incisive political commentary that he consistently offers.

This one is definitely worth sharing, thanks to Karen and Jennifer for passing it along.

Mr. President, this job can’t be fun for you any more.  There’s no more money to spend–you used up all of that.  You can’t start another war because you used up the army.  And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people.  Listen to your Mom.  The cupboard’s bare, the credit cards maxed out.  No one’s speaking to you.  Mission accomplished.

Now it’s time to do what you’ve always done best: lose interest and walk away.  Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team.  It’s time.  Time to move on and try the next fantasy job.  How about cowboy or space man?  Now I know what you’re saying:  there’s so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in.  Please don’t.  I know, I know.  There’s a lot left to do.  There’s a war with Venezuela.  Eliminating the sales tax on yachts.  Turning the space program over to the church.  And Social Security to Fannie Mae.  Giving embryos the vote.

But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now.  Why?  Because you govern like Billy Joel drives.  You’ve performed so poorly I’m surprised that you haven’t given yourself a medal.  You’re a catastrophe that walks like a man.  Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.

On your watch, we’ve lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans.  Maybe you’re just not lucky.  I’m not saying you don’t love this country.  I’m just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

So, yes, God does speak to you.  What he is saying is: ‘Take a hint.’

Amen to that!

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Remembering 9/11

News, Rants
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On this, the fourth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks against our country, it’s impossible for me not to reflect on it as the greatest of Bush’s many failures as President of the United States.

It’s been four years, and Osama bin Laden remains at large. It’s been four years, and America’s armed forces are dying every day, fighting in a country that had nothing to do with the 9/11 attacks against ours, but which Bush choose instead to invade. Now Iraq is a recruitment poster and training ground for new terrorists, eager to learn how to kill Americans there and anywhere else.

Today my memories are with the victims of 9/11/2001, and the loved ones they left behind. I only wish I could feel like their loss had been avenged, but it has not. We have failed them.

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$3.01

News
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I remember when I was in the 8th grade, and for the first time gas prices climbed above $1 a gallon. A friend pondered the fact that for the first time, the rolling numbers for ‘amount’ would be moving faster than the numbers indicating ‘gallons’.

That would have made me sound old, if not for the fact that just a few years back we all enjoyed gas at 75¢ a gallon for a brief inexplicable time. So my kids have lived during less than $1/gallon times.

I’ve long thought, and still believe, that Americans are spoiled by gas prices that are cheaper than in most of the world. Maybe the rising cost of gas will force us to pay attention to energy issues, fuel economy, and public transportation.

Still, $3.01/gallon… ouch.

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Mother Nature and George

Rants
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Originally uploaded by mysterious chicken.

That nature can be beautiful and deadly at the same time is nothing new. From before the days of Pompeii, to last December’s Tsunami, we are reminded again that, though beautiful, Mother Nature can be a ruthless killer. And in the face of her most violent outbursts, humans can only hope to learn from past mistakes, try to take precautions to diminish the effects of natural disasters, and make preparations for dealing with the worst.

One thing Hurricane Katrina will remind us all about is the real need of money and resources here in America at a time like this. While floodwaters rose, George Bush went to San Diego to try and equate his war of choice in Iraq to World War II. Now that he’s finally turning his attention from his self-made disaster to the one Mother Nature has dealt us, don’t expect him to talk much about how his budget slashes Hurricane preparedness spending, or remind us that 35% of the Louisiana National Guard is serving in Iraq. Will he wonder if his actions made Katrina’s blow worse? I doubt it.

We can’t avoid Mother Nature’s wrath. But George Bush’s we brought on ourselves.

Bush and Katrina: A time for action, not aloofness
New Hampshire Union Leader Editorial, 8/31/05

Waiting for a Leader
New York Times Editorial, 9/1/05

with thanks to The Progress Report for the numbers

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Greetings from Vermont

Travel
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OK, so I’m not actually IN Vermont anymore. I returned yesterday. You see, like the President, I needed some more August vacation. The urge to clear brush is strong at the end of summer. And lacking a farm of my own to work, I was fortunate the boss offered up his parent’s place in Bradford, Vermont for a company retreat.

But there was no blogging to be done at the beautiful farm, this 30-year old John Deere backhoe was the most advanced piece of technology around. I wasn’t much good at operating it, but I look forward to another chance at it.

Many thanks to Nathaniel and his folks for the wonderful time.

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Happy Anniversary!

Guide to Life
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Today I’ve been married for 18 years. There are few things I’ve done as long. I’ve never held a job for 18 years, or lived at the same address for 18 years. And there are few clubs I’ve belonged to, or items I’ve owned as long.

My wife, Jennifer, met me a month before I turned twenty. Two years later we were married. The 2nd luckiest, smartest, and luckiest things I’ve ever done were; take a tour of Europe (we met on the tour), propose to her (she did some prodding), and have her say ‘Yes’.

This photo is from my 40th bday party last month. I like it because it captures me in my happiest place, with her. I know I’ll still need her, and I hope I’ll still please her after another twenty-four. I love you Jenny! Happy Anniversary!

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Greetings from Kill Devil Hills, NC

Travel

We timed our travels well on Saturday. Despite some traffic, we arrived in time to sit down to a great lunch which we finished just as the time arrived we could check into our cool home for the week. And there’s only one way to describe the house, it is indeed a ‘phat pad’. Once unpacked, we hit the pool, made some dinner, and then took an evening stroll on the beach. Stay tuned to my Flicker set of photos from the week for updates.

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