The Fragrant Slug

To the woman who caught a ride into the city with me this morning. Manners prevented me from saying this to you directly, but it must be said. Ease up on the perfume, please! Five minutes into our commute, my nose was irritated and I had a bad taste in my mouth. Soon I was feeling dizzy, and a headache began to take root. By the time we crossed the 14th Street Bridge, I was nauseous and had chest pains. Yes, chest pains. It was a 40-minute long assault on my senses, a personal gas chamber, a commuting nightmare. After you got out of the car, I commented to our rear seat passenger that we’d be wearing your fragrance all day, and he allowed as how he was also feeling nauseous. I can only hope that whatever odor you were attempting to mask would have been worse. Regardless, your attempt to smell nice is a miserable failure.