Category: Humor

I wrote previously about ribbon magnets on cars. Personally I find them to be a pretty empty gesture of support for anything. Functionally, it’s a bumpersticker. That’s fine. But does this claim to ‘Support Our Troops’ actually support them? How often is such a widely held sentiment backed up by more meaningful action? As he so often has before, Ward Sutton has captured my feelings on them perfectly with his suggestion.

Yellow-Ribbon Magnets as Humvee Armor?
by Ward Sutton

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?”, she asked. “Hunting flies”, he responded. “Oh. Killing any?”, she asked. “Yep, 3 males, 2 Females”.

Intrigued, she asked. “How can you tell?”

“Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone.”

Thanks to Don for sharing the laugh

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me.

My girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me. That one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight miniskirts, and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me, and I got many a pleasant view of her hanging breasts or creeping underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister calls and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she could not overcome and did not really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

I was in total shock and could not say a word. She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom,and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me”. I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top, she pulled off her tank top up and her panties down and threw both down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house and walked straight toward my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We could not ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!”

The moral of the story: Always keep your condoms in your car.

Thanks to Neal for sharing

Watch this commercial (mpeg, 1.52mb), and try and guess the product being advertised before it ends.

Thanks to sis for sharing

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day.  Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media.  That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect.  Why do you hate freedom?

Thanks Karen for sharing the laugh